Dept. Of Totally Lame: Starring Fedex

Okay so I’ll just tell you up front this is basically a brief rant about my annoyance with FedEx — a self-indulgent post, but that would seem to be the point of having a site like this, to indulge, no?

So early last week my main computer died, or rather was killed by me, and I badly needed a new one, very quickly. I ordered one up online, and went ahead and sprung for the fastest and of course most expensive shipment option — Fedex Priority. This meant I’d get my machine by 10:30 the next morning.

Except that I didn’t. It arrived around 1:30 pm. (By then I had of course called FedEx more than once, and once was told that they’d have to “put a trace on it” and I’d get a call back, etc. I didn’t, but then the machine arrived.) I was fortune that E was willing to wait for it at that point, because I had to leave.

So anyway, without a lot of whining on my part, let’s just say I was pretty unhappy. I paid the extra money because I needed the thing as soon as possible. My, uh, whole professional life kinda depends on it. E of course asked the FedEx guy about getting at least some of that fee back, and he said call the company etc.

So I did that. And after the usual phone-tree shenanigans (I had to just start chanting “operator” several times to break out and get a human being), the service rep confirmed the late delivery, and apologized. Then she told me that because technically FedEx gets paid by the retailer who billed me for shipping, I’d have to go to the retailer and get them to ask for their money back from FedEx, and in turn reimburse me.

Come on.

Why should I be the one who has to jump through even more hoops? I didn’t screw up. FedEx screwed up. They should deal with this. And by the time I go through whatever nightmare it would entail to get the retailer (who also didn’t screw up) to act on this, I’ll literally have spent more time than it’s worth. (Opportunity cost, etc.)

And I daresay that having confirmed and admitted that they screwed up, I’m pretty sure they have it in their power to just cut me a check. I assume it wouldn’t include the retailer’s markup, but whatever, I’d live with that solution. I just want some sense of satisfaction, some kind of token of an admission that the company is sorry for its mistake and willing to make some sort of effort to make up for that.

After all, I have a FedEx account, so I’m their customer, and use them for overnight shipping whenever I have call to do such a thing. Or at least, I used to.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: FedEx couldn’t care less about your piddly little account, they’re a massive company and they’re hardly going to go out of business even if you never use them again. You’re right. But think of it as marketing — if they’d tossed 50 bucks at me, I’d probably have been thrilled, and remained a loyal customer for life!

Or at least until the next time they pissed me off…