“Hype-generating mechanism with fully integrated Mac compatibility”

So the Apple ad for the iPhone — see it here if you like — came on the tv set here at Murketing headquarters the other night, and although there are plenty of Apple products around Murketing headquarters, we all agreed: The company’s smug, self-congratulatory attitude is getting really, really tired.

Thus I was pleased to see this in The Onion: “Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product“. Some highlights:

“Get ready for the future of product introduction,” said Jobs…

Described in its patent filing as a “hype-generating mechanism with fully integrated Mac compatibility,” the iLaunch is powered by Intel dual-core processors optimized to calculate a product’s gravitas. Apple claims the iLaunch can garner the same amount of press attention as a major scientific discovery, high court ruling, celebrity meltdown, or natural disaster at 200 times the speed of a traditional media-fostered launch….

“Do you want to know what the surprise of this unveiling is?” said Jobs to the eagerly nodding crowd. “The iLaunch itself generated this entire presentation, as well as this very surprise.” …
“Before today, I couldn’t imagine paying $12,000 for a product-unveiling product,” CNET editor Jasmine France said after the presentation. “Now I can’t imagine living without it.”

The whole thing.